A Nostalgia Trip To 90s RomComs
The lost magic of bittersweet romantic comedies that defined our childhood
Hi angsty people,
I recently rewatched an old classic — 10 Things I Hate About You. And I have been sucked back into the vortex of 90s romcoms. So let’s take a trip down memory lane to some significant romcoms that have probably defined our idea of love and relationships.
When I started watching 10 Things I Hate About You, I only remembered two things about this movie — 1. it’s an adaptation of Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew (If the name of this play rings alarm bells, the actual story is much worse. You can read it here but don’t unless you want to get really angry.) 2. I vaguely enjoyed it in the past.
But this time, the movie brought me such feminist joy! What makes the protagonist Kat prickly, unpleasant, or a ‘shrew’ is simply feminist angst, leading to some iconic quotes that I have decided to use in my own life.
“I guess, in this society, being male and an asshole makes you worthy of our time.”
“Romantic? Hemingway? He was an abusive, alcoholic misogynist who squandered half of his life hanging around Picasso, trying to nail his leftovers.”
“I don't like to do what people expect. Why should I live up to other people's expectations instead of my own?”
Okay, I probably won’t have a reason to use the second one.
They explain this angst away as her being a misunderstood teenager and by the end of the movie, she becomes more ‘docile’. But she stands her ground on these beliefs, which is revolutionary for a romcom lead in that era.
The movie is quite aware of the issues in its source material and turns many of the problematic tropes on their head in smart and nuanced ways. For instance, Kat is called out on her limited white feminist perspective by her Black English teacher, Mr Morgan.
“I know how difficult it must be for you to overcome all those years of upper middle-class suburban oppression. Must be tough. But the next time you storm the PTA crusading for better... lunch meat, or whatever it is you white girls complain about, ask them WHY they can't buy a book written by a Black man!”
Overall, this movie was a win for feminism. But let’s be honest. Re-watching childhood classics can be eye-opening at best and horrifying at worst.
The Feminist Nightmare of Problematic Romance Tropes
Some movies have ridiculous plots or characters that make us wonder how they got approved by multiple people.
There was Never Been Kissed, where Drew Barrymore goes undercover as a high school student and develops a romance with her teacher, who still thinks she’s 17. Yikes! In Clueless, Cher is a 16-year-old high school student while Josh is in college. And the fact that they’re step-siblings, though not biologically related, adds to the ick factor.
But I can’t say much has changed over the years in terms of popular readership. If anything, our age gaps have become larger with stories of almost adults falling for 100+ year old vampires or werewolves or …doors? (Yes, this is a real published book. Would I lie to you?)
Some other common tropes:
Stalker alert! — Sleepless In Seattle, While You Were Sleeping
It’s not cheating if it’s true love - You’ve Got Mail, Made Of Honour, The Ugly Truth, Leap Year
Toxic or manipulative relationships aka please just break up - The Notebook, When Harry Met Sally, How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days
This article dives deeper into these movies and what makes them problematic.
And yet, the romcom lives on. The problematic and flawed characters make these movies work.
Bad People Make Good Romance
Romcoms thrive on characters with bad behaviour. They are grumpy, narcissistic, rude, and inconsiderate. They are liars, approach people for all the wrong reasons, and never plan on falling in love until oops, they do. Or they lie because of love. All in all, they’re not great people.
They are the kind of people you’d meet on the street — mediocre, ridiculous, prone to idealism or impulsive decisions, selfish and self-absorbed.
Either way, the appeal is watching bad people behave badly, and then become good, or at least significantly nicer. This gives them character, a memorable personality, and a significant growth arc that leaves you satisfied at the end of the story. They aren’t just in love, they’re better people because of it.
Despite their mediocrity, the characters are worthy of love. If they can find love, so can we.
And I’m a sucker for these character arcs! In fact, I absolutely love some of the movies I listed as problematic. Clueless has a special place in my heart. And I could watch How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days on repeat and find it hilarious.
They capture an idealism that seems to be lacking in today’s romcoms - maybe reflecting the cynicism and apathy of their millennial creators.
What’s your favourite nostalgic romcom?
Love? In this economy?
There’s a reason why there has been a stark absence of GOOD romcoms since the 2010s. With the quick-swipe endless possibilities of dating apps, growing job and economic insecurities, a gutwrenching political climate and the popular narrative of relationships being toxic, manipulative, and doomed to fail, we no longer have an idealistic view of love. Case in point - this article titled ‘The Romcom Is Dead’.
Running through the airport? You’ll be gunned down by the security after 9/11. Loud love confessions from outside the house? Creeeepy. Elaborate proposals in a crowded place? Internet fodder. Got my number from a friend? You and the friend are blocked. A message from a stranger? Trash from the ‘Other’ folder.
The thought of a romance set in 2024 that speaks of hope and possibilities without capturing at least 1-2 elements of the grief and suffering of the last five years seems impossible. Of course, they exist. But I can never get myself to write it. And if I read or watch it, I can never fully immerse myself in the fantasy.
Perhaps this is why romance has also turned towards dark comedy tropes to make the cheesiness more palatable. But most movies in the last two decades have been woefully stale or awkward or just painful. Though some movies in recent years have given us hope for a reimagining of the genre. But can the genre successfully revive itself? Let’s wait and watch.
So, what’s the formula for a good romance?
Bad humans + low standards + misunderstandings/secrets being revealed in the worst ways possible/external circumstances that force them to be apart + grand gestures + a happy ending
A genre where this idealism is currently thriving is Kdramas. They follow this exact formula and are more adventurous with their plots and characters, often blurring the boundaries between different genres. But they come with their own set of harmful tropes and misogynist actions that make Bollywood films seem like a feminist utopia.
If you’re still a sucker for romance, here are some recent things worth reading/watching:
Red, White and Royal Blue - A queer story that was able to capture that 90s cheesy romance magic and left me with the fuzzies (adapted from a book)
Spontaneous - A black comedy horror film about high school students who suddenly start blowing up. This is a dark one, and not entirely in the romcom genre. But the romance in this movie is so sweet and pure, it might just break your heart.
I Love You, Man - A bromance movie that I love with all my heart
Paper Moon - A woman running a bookstore in Mumbai with a dash of romance on the side
You can also try the upcoming ‘feminist romance’ subgenre. You might find something decent, and not offensive. But it’s not a genre I’ve explored in depth yet.
Do you have any recommendations for me? Reply to this email or comment below.
Late 2000s and early 2010s there were still a few nice ones like Ruby Sparks, About time and 500 days of Summer. But they have a very different vibe to the 90s and early 2000s ones that indeed never came back. I like some of the older ones, but also don’t feel so bad that we have evolved from them.